Ameria came out of the room with a sullen expression on her face. She took slow, small, hesitant steps towards Zelgadiss, then fell into his arms as she broke out in sobs.
He patted her back gently as he shushed her. It was probably too much for a young girl like her to handle. They shouldn’t have let her go inside by herself, but she had insisted it be that way.
A loud crashing sound from the other side of the door alerted them to their senses. Gourry stepped up, and, after receiving a nod of encouragement from Zelgadiss, entered the room.
Lina was sitting on the ground beside her bed, hands limp on the floor beside her body. All around her lay scattered shards of broken glass. In her left hand she held what remained of a glass cup she had apparently broken.
Her body was covered in cuts and bruises.
Gourry rushed over and removed the cup from her possession. He winced as the sharp edges of the glass sliced through his callused hands, but still he managed to smile kindly at Lina. "Now, now, Lina," he scolded. "How many times do I have to tell you not to hurt yourself?"
She watched him apathetically as he began the task of cleaning up the dangerous fragments lying all around them. His hands and knees began to bleed as well, but if it hurt he showed no sign of his pain, or possibly no recognition of it. Lina tilted her head curiously, her formerly flaming hair, now a dulling grayish-white, falling over her shoulders. She seemed little more than a doll, except without the mechanical giggle. Her eyes were faintly showing wisps of the Sign, and they no longer contained any trace of life. It had only been a week since the deplorable incident, and she was already fading away fast.
Gourry disposed of the materials in a nearby trash bin. He then proceeded to cleanse the blood off his hands. For a moment, he stared down at them and wondered what he had done wrong, and what the point of his actions was since the blood of other lives he had taken would never wash away in the first place.
That’s right. He had failed to protect her, and she had been just inches from his grasp. So why hadn’t he reached out to pull her back away from harm? Was it because he was too stupid to realize what was going on until it had already been too late?
Sometimes he despised himself for his lack of intelligence. He would give everyone less trouble if only he wasn’t so dense…
He suddenly slammed his fists down on the edge of the sink, splashing water everywhere and onto Lina’s face. She slowly turned her head to him, still void of emotion, and murmured, "Gourry…"
He raised his head, frozen by the unexpected surprise, then slowly turned to look at Lina. Tears blurred his vision, but he was able to see the remains of tears on Lina’s cheek. Truly astonished and filled with hope for the first time since it all began, he crawled over and reached out a trembling hand to push back the hair that covered her face.
Nothing had changed. She still had the same broken stare.
He could no longer prevent his own tears from falling. Gourry pulled her fragile, worn body into a caring embrace and cried into her hair, lightly kissing the top of her head and whispering her name every once in a while. He rocked her back and forth as though he were comforting her, though he was the one being comforted in truth. His heart broke a thousand times each time he looked at her exanimate face; it was beyond repair. He had just lost his companion that had accompanied him for four years, and she had been replaced by this life-sized marionette. She didn’t even feel warm anymore. It was almost like she was caught in an endless nightmare and would never wake up again.
What a guardian he turned out to be.
After a while of just simply holding her, he remembered she still had wounds that needed to be tended to. Placing her back atop her bed, he smiled at her through a tear-stained face and said, "I’ll go call Ameria to heal you up again. Wait here, ok Lina?" And with that, he left the room.
She seemed to watch his back as he left. His name once again escaped her lips as the door closed, but then her eyes once again grew darker and the memories of the blonde swordsman, the first person she ever loved, faded.
Zelgadiss hadn’t been surprised to learn that Lina was, again, wounded, nor was he surprised to see Gourry’s swollen and blood-red eyes, but he had been surprised that Gourry announced he would go buy supplies and, consequently, leave Lina to be taken care of. His wounds also had a shock effect on both Ameria and him. Ameria insisted on healing Gourry, but he ordered her to check on Lina in such an uncharacteristically harsh voice that it even stung Zelgadiss to hear. Though it’s not like he didn’t understand – they were all crushed by what had happened.
Even with bloodshot eyes and a red face, Ameria still shaped up in order to face Lina again. She was about to go in when a stony hand rested on her shoulder and held her back.
"I’ll take care of it," he said gently. "Go rest, you’ve been at it all night."
Ameria didn’t like the idea, but she obliged anyway since her body was aching, and both her mind and soul were exhausted. Casting him a look of thanks, she headed off down the hall in the opposite direction Gourry had gone and retreated to her room.
Zelgadiss waited until he heard the lock on her door latch firmly before cautiously entering into Lina’s room.
He was prepared for the worse, but the first impression was simply beyond his greatest imagination.
He caught her in a semi-erotic pose, naked, and looking out the window at what he assumed to be the moon. He gulped and wondered if he really should have let Ameria take care of her, but the wounds all over her body reminded him where his priorities were. He closed the door tightly behind him and, with shamelessness, focused on her as he went across the room to her.
"Lina."
She turned to him, giving him a fairly good view of her body, but he was beyond that now. He forced her to lie back down, pulled the bloodstained bedsheets over her lower body, and ensued healing her.
"So how have you been feeling?" Zelgadiss inquired, though he really wasn’t expecting a worthwhile answer. He felt like he was trying to heal the dead – do the impossible.
As expected, she didn’t respond. He pretended not to care and continued healing her tattered body. He frowned when he realized the wound in the middle of her chest was larger, as though she had been trying to cut her heart out, but decided against telling the others about it.
She began whispering something, but he couldn’t quite make out what she meant to say. Keeping his hand over her wound, he leaned over to hear what she had to say.
"Where…Zel…"
He was confused. Maybe she couldn’t see or hear him. A little louder than last time, he said, "I’m right here."
She continued to whisper, much to his confusion. It took a while for him to realize that she had more to say, and he leaned his ear in to hear her again.
"Where did you go… Xelloss…?"
Zelgadiss stiffened at the name. So she had been calling out for that bastard, and he had interpreted it as his own name. His other hand clenched into a fist as he recalled how Xelloss had simply accepted what Zelas had done and left her in their care. Xelloss didn’t deserve to be empathized with, after deserting the person who loved him most - the person who had picked that mazoku over himself.
Zelgadiss noticed Lina was whispering something else now. Once again, he leaned over to hear what she had to say. This time, however, it was barely audible even to his enhanced hearing as a chimera. He was so close that he could feel her cold breath on his cheek.
The words that came out of her mouth were: "I love you."
Ameria soon realized that she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a comfortable position but unable to do so in the end. Lina’s image plagued her mind and refused to let her slip into the land of slumber peacefully. She shivered even though she was covered with three different layers of bedsheets. Somehow the cold just would not go away.
She hadn’t mentioned to Zelgadiss or Gourry that Lina’s expression, though just for a moment, reflected that shared by all the Dark Lords they had encountered before. The one insane smile they had when people in front of them were dying…
She shivered again and hid her face in her pillows, trying to hide from the darkness that threatened to engulf her. It was all too much for the little princess to handle. She should never have agreed to come along on the journey. Her father…
She swallowed a knot, wondering how her father fared at home. Was he okay? Or was some cousin trying to kill him for the throne again? Or maybe…
The sound of plywood creaking just inches from her bed interrupted her thoughts and alerted her to another presence in the room. She threw her bedsheets off of her body and sat up quickly, muscling up enough courage to ask who was there.
There was no answer. She was halfway through casting a lighting spell when a hand clamped over her mouth, muffling her screams. She struggled a bit, but was greeted by a familiar voice.
"Where’s my mother?"
Zelgadiss had just finished healing Lina and pulled the sheet over her body again when Ameria burst through the door, causing him to jump up from his seat in alarm and ready a fireball spell in his hand. He quickly disintegrated it and was about to ask what was wrong when a pink-haired girl barged in and answered his question non-verbally. She located her mother and ran over to her side, inspecting her.
Zelgadiss felt as though he should explain her nudity before being inquired by the two females, so he began with "Uh, you see, she was already like this when…"
"How did this happen? It wasn’t supposed to happen this way."
Zelgadiss and Ameria were both confused by her sudden comment. "She got the Sign after…"
Rosa took her mother’s hand and pressed the backside of it to her cheek. With a serious look, she said, "No not that. I meant this never happened in my history!"
Gourry strolled along the roads in the town of Miran, ignoring the pain surging up his legs. It was a deserted old place, lacking the life and activity that it had, or appeared to have on the festival night. He remembered how irresistibly gorgeous Lina had looked on that night, and he became melancholy again.
He stopped his walk at the fountain in the center of town. It still glowed, though dimly, probably showing how much time the town had left before it would just vanish from existence. He dipped his scarred feet into the water, dirtying the former purity. The fountain suddenly started working again, spraying up a beautiful design of cascading water that glittered in the night.
He stared at it sadly. "Even you feel sorry for me, I guess."
The mercenary sat there for a while just reminiscing about old adventures with Lina when a figure appeared across the fountain from him. He glared suspiciously at the person for a bit, then his eyes opened wide with shock as he recognized the face. "You…!"
"Please take me to her. Quickly."
"What does this mean?" wondered Ameria.
"I don’t know," answered Rosa. "In my history, Lina survived the encounter with Deep Sea Dolphin and eventually settled down to have me and my sisters. She died when…"
Rosa stopped mid-sentence and bit her lip. "Nevermind."
Ameria understood when to stop prying into personal business and stopped Zelgadiss from doing so. Changing the subject, she asked, "How did you get out?"
"Xelloss got us out," the girl answered. "Juu-ou-sama is a reasonable person, when she wants to be."
Zelgadiss noticed she called her father by name and used the respectful name for the Beastmaster as her father always did. He then noticed she said "us" instead of "me", which probably meant the damn fruitcake finally hauled his ass over. And it was about damn time, too.
So where was he, anyway?
Before he could ask, however, Rosa spoke up again. "I don’t have much longer to exist here."
They were stunned by the announcement. "Why?" asked Ameria.
Rosa’s expression became somber as she tenderly placed Lina’s hand back down and whispered a small prayer to the gods, or maybe even L-sama. She faced Ameria and Zelgadiss full frontal and began to explain. "Time travel is a forbidden spell. Of course it would have consequences or people would be casting it daily to fix little things gone wrong in the world."
"So why did you come back?" Zelgadiss asked the precocious girl who had to endure so much more at such a young age.
"Because… I had to stop the world from ending…even if the price is becoming a ghost destined to wander for all eternity," she answered softly. She really didn’t want to die – not yet. She had only barely begun to live.
Ameria was ready to offer words of condolence when Gourry barged into the room shouting, "Guys! I found Xelloss!"
Lina seemed to respond to his name, and tilted her head towards the door expectantly. Sure enough, the mazoku priest came through the entrance, but he no longer wore his usual façade. Instead, an austere look along with a hint of sheer exhaustion took its place.
Zelgadiss lost all will to beat the living daylights out of him when he appeared. He, too, had apparently suffered more than his fair share. It was none of the uncaring, nonchalant attitude Zelgadiss had imagined. The mazoku still had feelings for Lina, and they were strong as ever.
Everyone cleared a path for him to stumble, literally, over to Lina’s side. He staggered a couple times, using his staff for support and balance. When he finally reached her side, he fell to his knees and immediately beseeched her forgiveness with a simple "I’m sorry."
She just stared at him through lifeless eyes, as she was still stuck in her trance-like state, and even he could not break through it.
He took her pale, ghastly hand and kissed each fingertip, then curled it into a fist to clasp between his hands. She felt icy, as though she was nothing more than remains of skin and bone. She had grown much, much thinner since he had last laid eyes upon her, almost thin enough to be completely hidden and unnoticeable beneath the bedsheets. And her skin no longer seemed attached to her bones, as though they were rotting off of her form while she was still alive.
Ameria felt tears spring back up in her eyes. Rosa was the first to notice the princess’s quivering lip and escorted her outside with Gourry just steps short of them. Zelgadiss, taking a hint for once, lingered beside the two lovers for a bit before taking his leave, shutting the door behind him to give Xelloss and Lina their much needed time alone together.
After they had gone, Xelloss slowly put her head back down and mounted himself above her. He tilted her head up so her eyes gazed into his, and pressed his hands down on either side of her head into the pillows so it looked as if he were pinning her still. They remained like this for a few minutes as Xelloss tried to steady his surging emotions and force his lower lip from quivering, but his efforts were in vain.
With tears falling from his eyes, he leaned in for a kiss. His arms wrapped around her frail body and pulled her against him as he fell to her side. Even her lips were cold, he noticed, and cried a little more.
He honestly hadn’t expected his master to do such a thing, for she had never done anything remotely similar before. Then again, he had never done anything remotely similar before, either. When he had asked her why she did it, she had simply answered with "It’s for your own good."
That was true – it would be for his own good if Lina was no longer around. But it wasn’t what he wanted to do; he was willing to accept a few troubles if he could enjoy his life, or lack thereof, a bit.
He ran his fingers through her now coarse hair and kissed the tip of her eye. She whispered something inaudible to his ear, but he could feel it sink into his heart, and his blood ran cold.
"Please kill me…"
Ameria had cried herself to sleep and was now resting against the wall, head on Gourry’s shoulder, who himself was resting beside her. Zelgadiss paced the hallway, trying to think of some way, any way, to save Lina from her predicament. He owed her that much, for she had been his savior on more than one occasion. That kind of valor and integrity was hard to match, but he would exert himself this time since he had to. She was precious to him – to them all – and he wasn’t ready to give up so easily.
His deep pondering was punctuated by Gourry’s concerned statement: "Are you ok?" Zelgadiss turned around to see Rosa hunched up on the floor, clutching her sides in agony and panting heavily.
The telltale fading, beginning at her feet, explained what was happening.
Zelgadiss rushed over to aid her, but was blocked by an invisible barrier that surrounded what was left of her body. He pounded on it in an attempt to break through, but his efforts were in vain. All he could do was stand there and watch.
Rosa fought the pain for a moment and sat up. Half of her body was already dematerialized, and more was fading quickly. There was one more vital piece of information she had to tell them before she could disappear, though.
"There was a prophecy," she began, gathering the attention from the two stunned onlookers. "It says, ‘Beware the child of silence, for when the moon shines red and the child has come of age, the world will be plunged into everlasting darkness." She gave a weak, but amused grin. "Although what the Lord of Nightmares wants, she gets, so I guess it’s inevitable anyway…"
Her consciousness slipped from her as the rest of her body was consumed, leaving Zelgadiss and Gourry speechless. Ameria stirred in her sleep and woke up to ask, "What happened?"
Zelgadiss forced himself to appear as though nothing happened. Luckily Ameria was still half-asleep or she would have definitely noticed his awkward shifting as he answered, "It’s nothing, go back to sleep."
When her breathing had finally become deep and even, both Gourry and Zelgadiss whispered a small prayer to the young girl who, even in such a short time, they had befriended.
May her soul someday be forgiven and be given permission to rest in peace.
Xelloss couldn’t believe what she had just said. He was asphyxiated by her words, as if he was searching for some clue that it was all a lie and not what she was sincerely wishing for. But no matter how hard he searched, there was not an inch of chicanery in her words. She meant it, and she honestly expected him to go through with it.
He rolled off to the side, landing on his back just beside his beloved, wondering what on earth was happening. He felt pretty outraged, and for good reason. The diamond of his eye was dying – decaying – right before his eyes, and the only words she kept for him in her soul were "Please kill me." More frustrated than he was upset, he pressed his hands against his eyes and rubbed violently, hoping to wake himself from this agonizing nightmare which imprisoned him. His eyes burned, but at least he was placated for the time being.
A light weight suddenly landed on his stomach, and he glanced down at it in a rather dazed and confused manner. It was Lina’s hand, thin and bony. Without a reaction, he slowly arched his neck to look at her pallid face whose chilly breath he felt gliding over his skin.
Her eyes were silver and dull with pre-mature age – an early form of the sign. Xelloss felt her gaze stretching the concave in his chest and he turned his face quickly away. He didn’t want to see her like that – like a rag doll absent of life. But when she gently cupped his cheek with that thin hand and weakly turned his gaze back to her, he looked on with unending sorrow.
In a fit of anger, more due to his own dominating emotions rather than her actions and persistence, he forced her onto her back and wrapped his trembling fingers around her neck with the intent to strangle her, but without the will to execute the action. Why isn’t my body listening to me? – Burned the thought in his mind, sending tremors of rage throughout his body and a counterwave of hopelessness. Finally the later emotion won over the former, and he released his hold on her neck and fell upon her, his head landing on her bosom.
And as if he were speaking directly to her heart, he whispered in a voice no louder than the wind’s sigh…
"You are already so far away from me, Lina-san…"
The atmosphere in the hallway was grim, as if foreshadowing the already apparent lingering death on the other side of the wooden door. The air was heavy, making it difficult to breathe, and they all felt it suffocating them.
Zelgadiss was the first to start up the conversation, beginning it with a simple "Hey."
Gourry’s ears perked up, and he raised his swollen red, sleep-deprived eyes to meet those of his long-time companion. He, too, responded with a simple "Yeah?"
Zelgadiss waited a moment to catch his breath before continuing. "Should we really trust a mazoku like that? What if he ends up killing her?" he wondered, not knowing the irony in his words.
Gourry smiled unknowingly and replied, "Well, I think that…since Xelloss always had Lina’s best interests in mind, he’ll know what to do, even if it really is killing her."
And for once, Zelgadiss said nothing cynical about his decision, nor did he think the blonde too stupid and naïve. Instead, he bore a small grin and accepted the fate.
"I guess you’re right."
Xelloss sat on the edge of the bed staring at her for a very, very long time. He was ambivalent; his decision vacillated between what he wanted to do and what he knew he had to do. He retraced his steps back to the very beginning, when all he knew about the girl was that she was some feared sorceress who had killed a piece of his Master effortlessly – or so had been told. He retraced his steps all the way back to when he had first run into her in the middle of a blown up tavern, fire ablaze and all around this seemingly carefree girl of only sixteen or seventeen years of age. She had fascinated him at first sight, and he wondered how such a vibrant girl – human – was capable of defeating his lord all mighty. But as he realized that, beneath her childish appearance, she was a being who commanded great respect and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.
And he was going to decide the fate of this person solely by himself? Impossible.
He implored a nonexistent being in his mind to answer his questions and advise him on what to do, but all in vain. No one would answer him in the end. He was alone in this decision.
Lina’s resolve hadn’t changed, and it was evident that she would not free him from guilt until he carried through with her last request. He was almost about to tell someone else to do it, but her face told him that he was the only one she could entrust with such a difficult task. The others would have failed miserably.
But he couldn’t just let her go like this, so he materialized a simple yet meaningful necklace from his ephemeral figure. The necklace had a simple jewel – composed of a ruby and amethyst twirled together in union – hanging from it, but it twinkled like ethereality.
"Return this to me the next time we meet," Xelloss said, clasping her hands around the jewel and kissing her forehead tenderly. "…So that a part of me may always be with you."
Having said all that needed to be said, Xelloss drove his fist through her chest, crushing her heart and staining his hands with the blood of the one most precious to him.
"I believe in you…"
To be continued...
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